Talk Thirty to Me Episode Thirty: Millennial Love – The Art of Ghosting
Join Turg and Randy Z and their guest Obioma Okonko – entrepreneur and co-founder of the Teachers Lounge 90210 in Los Angeles – as they address the most hot button topic in the dating world for those romantics and realists alike – Ghosting – as well as…
Have you ever been ghosted? Did you even know you were ghosted?
Ghosting is the art of backing out of a relationship without telling the other person you’re intentions. So the guys argue that Millennial generation are the culprits of ghost-style communication when it comes to relationships. Turg argues this is the absolute most fucked up someone can be toward another person. Closure is important for humans and emotional stability. How do you improve without closure?
Turg thinks there are two scenarios behind ghosting, but Randy says there are more!
Relationship ghosting – intimate, exclusive and emotionally invested
Exclusive relationship ghosting – short-term dating out of convenience or comfort
Casual dating ghosting – sex, Netflix and chill
Introductory ghosting – first date coffee and bunt cake
Randy is convinced these conversations must happen, they can’t go without a proper end. Obi is struggling to confront the fact that face to face or even over-the-phone breakups are needed. Are breakups cold? Does one need tact or should it remain silent? Obi shares his example of a failed attempt of how being honest with a breakup backfired and made him feel guilty. Sometimes we don’t need to feel comfortable with being uncomfortable. Turg thinks relationship ghosting is all about self-preservation and how someone is only thinking about their own personal interests in a relationship.
Is this a byproduct of Millennial Love?
Turg shares how his long-term relationship ghosted back in college. Randy thinks that’s why Turg craves closure. Obi thinks the degree of emotional investment matters. Turg doesn’t find that there is a clear way to define an emotional investment as they might not be as transparent up front in a relationship. Randy expresses his fear of being open about his relationships. Obi thinks updating friends and family on social media or anything where you put your relationships on stage exposes you to new dangers. Do you judge friends that serial date out in the open? Randy definitely passes judgement on those kinds of people.
Dating is like practice for marriage. What kind of dater are you?
Have you been a victim of ghosting? Have you ghosted someone? How has it made you feel? How do you think the other person felt? As a friend, it’s tough to give advice to others who have been ghosted. Turg discusses this dilemma. Obi thinks closure for casual texting is unnecessary. Randy gets ghosted twice by the same person!
Do you think online or app dating really work or does it just sell people on a false promise and let them down the road to being ghosted over and over? Obi doesn’t like bringing relationships around friends or family until he’s sure it can last. Randy thinks the relationship really dictates how friends and family are introduced. Since you broke up, how do you break up with their friends now that you’ve probably grown close?
There is so much discussed in this episode and in such great DETAIL that I’m sure we’ve left more questions unanswered than answered! More stones need to be turned, more life stories visited, more victims interviewed! Stay tuned for more on this topic in the coming months.
We leave you with one last thought – Stop ghosting. Don’t serial date and friend. Know yourself.
Intro Music & Outro Music:
Saturday Jam by Clifton “Notes” Ellens, Captain Noah, and Jonathan “Sankeyz” Sanchez
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