Talk Thirty to Me Episode Twenty Nine: Finding Love in a Hopeless Place
Join Turg and Randy Z and their guest Obioma Okonko – entrepreneur and co-founder of the Teachers Lounge 90210 in Los Angeles – as they circle back to relationships and dating in your 30s, a painfully insightful way to either make or break your confidence as you enter the adult world also…
Serial monogamy – is this even a thing?
We’re sure you’ve already read How to Date Multiple People the Smart Way, by Kristen Lem posted on the blog a few weeks back. Turg, Randy and Obi get to contrasting the overwhelming themes of an adult relationship at thirty and whether or not dating monogamy now is even worth it anymore. Dating casually in your 20s versus your 30s is a lot more different because of the loneliness factor. Obi and Randy discuss how loneliness can lead into a feeling of confusion for the serial daters out there. The group redefines what the expectations or love become more real at 30.
Are you more emotionally fragile at 30?
Obi tells us how he loves ‘hard’. Why is marriage always the goal for most relationships? How do you know you’ve arrived when in a relationship? Randy talks about how he couldn’t hold down a relationship for too long. Obi discusses his long term relationship let downs – finding love in a hopeless place. We always look for something in someone else to make us a better person. What happens when you can’t find that in the other person? Do we keep trying or do we just give up? Obi talks about how the changes you want to find in your partner might not come about until you walk away. Turg parallels new relationships to a new job or career change. Randy doesn’t get it though.
At what point do you realize it’s time to just walk away?
Why don’t people want to change? What’s the drawback? Turg talks about how it’s so difficult to walk the line between non-threatening/non-pressure related scenarios that don’t work out – so how can someone induce change in their partner? Randy talks about vulnerability and how that factors into the situational tensions. These are often the most difficult to overcome. Turg argues how we are all emotionally immature. Heartbreak and change help force you to be a better you. Randy connects the dots and thinks serial dating is the key to success in your future relationships.
Can you compare one woman to the next? Obi argues you can’t; needs and wants are always going to vary from person to person. You have to know yourself in order to find your perfect fit. Turg says you can’t find the perfect person – you grow to suit the needs of one another. How long do you wait to find the right person? Time is of the essence in your thirties.
Do you know yourself? Do you understand what love is? What defines you as a person? Have you ever reflected upon these questions? At 30 it’s easy to overlook the most important character of your adult life – yourself.
Don’t forget about yourself and your dedication to the discovery of someone who gets you, for you.
Saturday Jam by Clifton “Notes” Ellens, Captain Noah, and Jonathan “Sankeyz” Sanchez
Sugie by Brutis Perux
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